Why Do Queer Women Move So Quickly in Relationships?
Where did the stereotype of “U-Hauling” come from?
I don’t know if this stereotype is widely known, but queer women are constantly made fun of for moving too fast in relationships. In fact, the term “U-Hauling” came about from lesbians and bi women moving in together pretty soon after entering a relationship.
Is there any truth to this?
Let’s look at some personal experience. I’m a bisexual, woman-aligned person. For the past couple of months, I have been dating a girl I met from Tinder. After our second date, I basically started spending every night at her hotel.
She was only in town for a while because she was training for a new job halfway across the country, and she recently moved back to her home state. However, during the couple of months that I knew her, it felt like I had known her my whole life. We just instantly clicked. We said “I love you” after just a couple of weeks.
Now, we’re in a long-distance relationship, but she has plans to move down with me after a few months or so. Whenever her job will let her transfer down to Texas.
And yeah, I know Texas is a lot less accepting of the gays than her home state of New York. But we both agreed that we would both rather live here than up there, for many reasons.
Anyway, I guess we did move pretty fast. I mean, while my girlfriend was down here, she already met my parents several times. They both like her and want her to stick around. I do too.
So, I guess we are one example of queer women U-Hauling.
But why do queer women tend to move so fast?
I think that the reason we move so quickly is that being queer is inherently lonely. We don’t fit the standard of what society thinks we’re “supposed” to be. Everyone expects us to settle down with a man. When you have feelings for women, it’s much more difficult to find one to date, since most women aren’t attracted to the same gender.
That’s why, when we find a woman we click with, we rush into the relationship stage much more quickly than one might expect straight people to.
Now, I’m not saying this is necessarily healthy. But I am saying that it happens. When two women find each other in this heteronormative world, our relationship blossoms into something much more quickly than perhaps it should. However, sometimes it turns out just as healthy as any straight person’s.
For example, my girlfriend treats me better than all the men I’ve dated combined. She is beyond kind to me, and she genuinely wants the best for me, even if it means sacrificing something she wants. I have never been in a relationship with someone like that before, and it has changed my life.
So, maybe U-Hauling is unhealthy for some women. But for me personally, it’s probably the best decision I have ever made.
