The ‘Perfect Rape Victim’ Myth

The Myth of the ‘Perfect Rape Victim’, and why black women can never be one.

During the #MeToo movement, started by Tarana Burke, the set of rules for survivors of sexual harassment couldn’t be clearer. Unfortunately, as is often the case in Western societies, black women struggle significantly to meet these rules society creates for acceptance.

Photo by Mateus Souza from Pexels

Rape is a subject that people simply don’t want to talk about. Even when writing about my own experiences, I feel uncomfortable, as if I am breaking some sort of taboo. In a way I am, looking at the ways in which we discuss rape victims it is clear there is a certain way that we expect them to act. During the #MeToo movement, started by Tarana Burke, the set of rules for survivors of sexual harassment couldn’t be clearer.

1. They need to realise that they were assaulted immediately and head straight to the police. Otherwise, why bring it up now? Perhaps they have a nefarious purpose?
2. They need to tell their story in a calm and kind way. Angry survivors are irritating and disingenuous. A ‘real’ victim would be traumatised, ashamed and most importantly quiet.
3. They need to be sexually pure. If they give off any indication of ever enjoying sex or controlling their sexuality then they could have been asking for it, how would we know otherwise?
4. They need to protect the reputation of their abuser. If they name the person who assaulted them, their reputation could be ruined! But of course, if they won’t name them that is even more suspicious.
5. They need to be attractive. Yes, psychologists and sexual theory clearly view rape and harassment as being fueled by a need to exert power, rather than sexual desire but that doesn’t allow us to berate victims, so we’ll ignore that. Rather, if a victim isn’t considered attractive then it must be impossible for them to have been assaulted.

This list, of course, isn’t exhaustive, but these 5 invisible rules come up consistently when discussing whether or not we can believe someone who opens up about…