The Ghost of Stan Twitter Past
Remembering my short-lived friendship with Paris Hilton and the problem with This is Paris
My mother was born into a New York high society family, and she didn’t fit in. She never met the high expectations of a young woman of her pedigree. She eventually moved us to The Bronx, and my mother became involved with our school. She normalized our presence in the mostly Black student demographic. This caused trouble, as the school called child welfare services under fraudulent pretenses. My mother’s side of the family backed out from taking us in until my mother sorted things out. They were worried about their social circles finding out about their disadvantaged sister’s child welfare troubles.
I spent over eight years in foster care. I first saw Paris in 2002 on Page Six as a teenager. It was an escape for me. I returned home to my mother in 2003. I remember reading a Teen People profile on her and watching E! True Hollywood Story: The Hilton Sisters and The Simple Life later that December. Years moved forward as I entered early adulthood. I kept an eye on her career while living my life.
Fast-forward to the Spring of 2010; I was a journalism major at a small private college. My favorite journalism professor suggested I do a blog while on break. I felt Tumblr would be an ideal platform. I thought of how much I followed Paris years prior. She had an official website where I joined the online community for fans. I launched a blog devoted to her, and it quickly attracted followers. Paris spent the summer traveling the world and returned to Los Angeles.
I woke up one morning to an explosion in my Twitter mentions. My followers on Twitter and Tumblr doubled. Paris saw my blog and tweeted about it. She also followed me back on Twitter. Paris was arrested for cocaine possession at the end of August 2010. She didn’t like the media coverage. We started direct messaging each other on Twitter about it, which led to email correspondences. Paris tweeted a link to my blog, saying she loves how I “tell the truth”. My blog served as a public relations hub.
Paris struggled to reclaim her spotlight. I asked if she had issues with Kim Kardashian because I had read about it. Paris claimed that Kim used her for fame and copied everything she did. She also confided to me that she suspected that Kim and her mother were behind the release of Kim Kardashian Superstar. I wrote blog posts about this alleged career theft and the Kardashian family’s backstabbing behavior. Khloe was so furious; that she wrote an indirect post titled Hi Hater about me on her Celebuzz-sponsored blog. Paris and I had a big laugh over it.
Paris expressed excitement about her Asian tour, and the first stop was Tokyo. Due to her drug charge, she wasn’t allowed entry. Her management decided to cancel the rest of the tour. Paris was at an airport hotel with her sister when I read her email about the decision. She was devastated, and I offered support. I was “rewarded” when she gave me a phone number to text her on.
Paris texted me that her manager — Jamie Freed — wanted to talk to me about “an amazing opportunity”. Paris wanted me to email her ideas I had for her career. I spoke with my trusted journalism professor about this. He previously expressed concerns that I spent too much time on a “hobby”, and I was losing focus on college. He suspected that her manager was going to ask me to formally work for Paris’s brand. He congratulated me.
I sent a few emails of ideas and one where I clearly stated I expected to be paid. Paris emailed me back, saying she showed her father the ideas, and he loved them. She told me in a text message that her mother was shocked I didn’t have a business degree or public relations experience. I was nervous about the phone call with her manager. He emailed me a confirmation of the day and time. He also wanted me to sign a non-disclosure agreement. I texted Paris that I felt uncomfortable signing it. She told me we would discuss it after I spoke to her manager.
He was two hours late. I immediately felt something was off. I asked him if he saw the email with my ideas, and he did. He told me that Paris’s website was relaunching in the Spring of 2011, and they wanted me to be an author of the blog section. I expressed my gratitude and asked how I would be paid. He scoffed and said I wouldn’t be paid for anything. I told him I would think about it.
My professor was appalled that Paris wanted me to do free labor on her official website. I declined her offer. Against his advice, I updated the blog, but she stopped replying to my text messages. I tweeted in frustration: “It’s funny how someone asks you to work for them and when you won’t do it for free, that is the last you hear from them. It’s 2010, C’mon!”
Paris had a small group of fans she communicated with, as well as hangers-on. They told her I was bad-mouthing her. Paris was combative in emails, and I reacted. I told her it was insulting to do work on her brand for free. She quipped back that I should consider it “an honor”. She also accused me of making it about money. I told her I wasn’t doing the blog anymore and we shouldn’t be friends. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up and saw she shouted me out on Twitter, saying that I was a “good friend”. It was agreed to scrap the ideas I emailed and the offer to work on her website. Also, Paris told me she wouldn’t push me to sign a non-disclosure agreement, which I didn’t.
Nicole Richie’s wedding was approaching, and Paris was upset she wasn’t invited. She wanted to speak to me on the phone. We spent almost three hours talking. It agitated Paris that Khloe was invited. I received a phone call from my on-again, off-again boyfriend. I mentioned him to Paris over text messages a few times. I placed her on hold. We argued. It was the nature of our dynamic at the time. She wasn’t thrilled I was still talking to him. She asked me if he was one of those “drug dealer people”. I was taken aback by her subtle racism. Supposedly, she was worried about me being involved with someone “like that,” and it wasn’t a “good look”. We spoke about many other things. Paris tweeted that she loved talking to her “girl Chantal” on the phone. I was gaining Paris’s trust, and she considered me a friend.
I wasn’t pleased when Paris was interviewed by a Paris Hilton fan site when I asked to do a feature story on her. I felt she was taking advantage of me. I announced that I was quitting the blog. She claimed in an email exchange that the fan site asked first, and she finally granted my request. I asked the fans on Twitter what they wanted to ask her, and I selected five questions. I had my questions I asked her for the feature story. Included was honesty about her being “slut-shamed” over her sex tape being released without her consent. Everyone loved it, including Paris. Her public relations spokesperson — Dawn Miller — emailed me a revised version which I posted. The misogynistic narrative surrounding her sex tape was excluded.
I was doing heavy promotion for her Oxygen show The World According to Paris. Being friends with a celebrity I once idolized seemed more important than planning for my future. Terry Richardson — before he was outed as a sexual predator — noticed my blog. He did her photoshoot for Turkish Vogue. My blog had an impact on her career. With my very blonde hair, I finally met Paris when she invited me to her birthday party at Lavo.
I felt I had to portray a new image being associated with Paris, so by this time, I befriended two middle-class white girls at college. I neglected my studies even more. I was sucked into Paris’s universe, where she was the Sun, and we all just orbited around her. I was closest to a fan who made video edits of her. It was fun to text Paris while she filmed her show, and she sent me selfies of herself.
In mid-April 2011, she pulled away. I told the fan I was closest to about it. He reassured me that she was busy. About two weeks later, I was on the Metro-North, when he sent me a text asking if I saw Paris’s new website. He told me to look at the blog section and to call him. It was a rip-off of my blog — down to the writing style. He said he instantly thought the same. I sent Paris a text and a tweet asking her to call me. She never replied. I sent a text which explained why I was angry. She responded coyly and clueless.
I stopped doing the blog and fell into a depression. I began to see fragments of my ideas being implemented. Someone suggested consulting with an entertainment lawyer. In confidence, I told the trusted fan what I was considering. My phone number and home/email address were leaked. I was harassed and told anonymously to kill myself. I angrily called and texted Paris — unresponsive.
I stopped hearing from the trusted fan. I discovered he sold me out to Paris for an invite to the Los Angeles premiere party of her show. She cut contact with him afterward because he served his purpose. He groveled. He said Paris told him I had “mental issues” and tried to extort her. She claimed she was “scared” of me.
I contacted an entertainment lawyer. He read the email where I stated I expected to be paid and saw similarities in the writing styles of the blogs. The lawyer said she’ll come at him with a team of lawyers and bury him in paperwork. I had to examine her website, look for possible copyright infringement, and gather evidence of her implementing my ideas — before we could send a cease and desist. Paris’s show was a flop, and she became a laughingstock. Her new website didn’t go far either.
After that happened, we reconnected via email, re-followed one another on Twitter, and scheduled a phone call. Our conversation lasted for 15 minutes — if that. Paris asked if I still planned to file a suit, and I said I wasn’t comfortable discussing that with her. She blamed her assistant and manager for writing blog posts that looked similar to my style. She denied having any involvement with my information being leaked and telling people to attack me. Paris said I hurt her feelings with things I texted her. She told me her fans missed the blog. She wanted me to start blogging again. I told her I needed the summer to process everything and revisit the offer.
On September 2nd, 2011, I witnessed the murder of my ex-boyfriend — one of those “drug dealer people” Paris insinuated. It shattered me. Nothing that happened in the previous months mattered. Shortly after his funeral, I received a text from one of Paris’s phone numbers asking if I was going to do the blog again. I told her that I was grieving and was just at a funeral. I was offered no condolences. I never heard from her again.
When I saw the trailer for This is Paris, I remembered what she did almost ten years ago. I reflected on how I spent over a year living at Pleasantville Cottage School. I was present during an attempted murder of a night staff and was abused. I thought about what happens to foster care youth funneled into residential treatment centers. They’re told to “get over it” and not how “brave” they are for surviving. I juxtaposed them with the white and suburban faces of Breaking Code Silence. There are accusations of performing “Trauma Olympics” when an invisible trauma survivor hierarchy is mentioned.
On Twitter, Paris was called out for her racist past — including being filmed saying the n-word. A few days later, she retweeted a thread from May 2020 about Cornelius Fredericks — a Black teenager killed by staff at a residential treatment center. Was the timing coincidental, or was it damage control? Not to mention, This is Paris touches on the trauma she experienced when Rick Salomon released their sex tape, where she described it as being “electronically raped”. In an interview for Marie Claire, when asked about women coming forward accusing Donald Trump of sexual assault, she made statements that stepped into the realm of rape apology.
Before that, she saw an opportunity to take another swipe at Lindsay Lohan in her profile for Sunday Times Style. Paris experienced abuse at the hands of Provo Canyon School, but this documentary could be interpreted as a rebranding ploy. I’m in no way minimizing her experiences, as questioning a trauma survivor goes against everything I believe in.
DMX was sent to Children’s Village by his mother. It’s acknowledged that he was abused and neglected by her. He struggled as a famous rapper. He had many run-ins with the law. Childhood trauma is rarely used to describe what led him down that path. It’s publicized that DMX’s mother failed him and none to how Paris’s parents did the same. There were allegations of neglect and how Kathy Hilton’s behavior shaped Paris’s personality traits. It’s not framed that family dysfunction was causal to Paris being sent to Provo Canyon School. One parent is a single Black mother from Yonkers, and the other is a white woman who married into a global conglomerate.
Paris is a survivor of trauma who grew into an adult who utilized her power to manipulate, use, and silence me. Paris has yet to atone for anything she’s done that caused me harm. I realized that our friendship wasn’t reciprocal. I’m a different person than I was nearly ten years ago. She’s almost 40 years old and stuck in an early 2000s time warp. Will she use this new platform to finally look inward?
