The 5 Best Arguments Against Legalizing Marijuana
And why they are all so Dumb!
We’ve all heard the expression, “there are lies, damn lies, and statistics”. At least 77% of us have. I feel the same way about the arguments against fully legalizing cannabis. Each one is dumber than the argument before it, but not as dumb as the argument to follow. And that’s true no matter what order you put them in. Weird! I know!!
Because I like shooting fish in a barrel (literally. I’m not talking about the metaphor), I’m going to posit, and then rebut the top 5 best arguments for continuing prohibition. It’s kind of like a David Letterman Top 10 List written by a lazy person.
I also acknowledge that there are more than 5 arguments that the prohibitionists make. However, if I dipped much below five I’d be getting into the realm of the insane. The fish wouldn’t just be in a barrel, they’d be nailed to the bottom of it. And it’s really easy to shoot the fish in those circumstances. I know. I’ve done it. A lot!
Quick note: In an effort to mix things up, by using a different synonym for grass every time I mention it.
Top 5 best and dumbest arguments against legalization
1. Pot is bad for you
Every so often we’re treated to an exciting tweet by some drug warrior who breathlessly reports on a new study that says that Kief causes your liver to explode, or that infants dipped in hash oil rarely grow up to win the Nobel Peace Prize. There are many problems with these studies, which I shall briefly elucidate below. But there is a more fundamental, threshold problem with this argument, which is that for purposes of setting public policy, it is absolutely irrelevant.
Let’s pretend for a moment that someone can prove that cannabis is somehow harmful to your health. It would not be alone. Cigarettes kill 1,100 Americans per day in horrific ways. Approximately 88,000 people die each year from Alcohol abuse. Sugary drinks kill over 184,000 Americans annually and eating Hot Pockets kills more people each week, than were killed in the entire Viet Nam War (both sides)! Clearly, something being “bad for you” or unhealthy has not historically been a reason to make the people who consume it, criminals. In other words, reefer could be both unhealthy and legal, like many, many other products.
Of course, this assumes that weed actually is unhealthy. But the number of Americans who die directly from Mary Jane each year is ZERO. Ganja has no lethal dose. Further, many of the studies showing adverse effects on kids assume what they call “chronic use”. This means that they are smoking herb multiple times, every single day. How do you think a 12-year-old would do drinking multiple shots of vodka every day? Yet alcohol is still legal, and in Pennsylvania, actually sold and promoted by the state. This argument clearly doesn’t bear scrutiny.
2. Skunk is a gateway drug — It’s not. It’s just not.
Here’s a quick, true, funny story. When I was pushing my Medical bill in Pennsylvania, I had the opportunity to meet with then-Governor Corbett about it. I got the feeling I was not his favorite senator by the way he scrunched up his nose like he smelled something vile whenever he saw me. Although to be fair, my patchouli-scented cologne probably didn’t help.
In any event, he said he was opposed to Medical Marijuana because it was a Gateway Drug and would “lead to increased opioid use”. So I said “Governor, you are saying that if we prescribe marijuana, it might lead people down the path to using opioids. So, we’re just going to prescribe the opioids instead and just skip the gateway? He nodded his head yes, his chief-of-staff asked if anyone smelled patchouli. And the meeting was over.
Even in the context of recreational Cannapa, the evidence of it being a gateway drug is non-existent. The argument that prohibitions make is that most people who use heroin had previously used Baby Bhang, which is probably true but definitely meaningless. Those same heroin users also previously drank milk, yet nobody is making milk a Schedule 1 Narcotic. The right way to analyze it is not to see how many heroin users previously consumed Cheeba, but how many Grifo users went on to use heroin, which is under 4%.
If you are looking for “gateway drugs”, I’d suggest checking out tobacco and alcohol. The Baker Institute, (which may have been named after famous baker Betty Crocker, but I’ll have to check on that) did a 40-year study. Alcohol users were far more likely than consumers of the cush to use heavily, and alcohol was the substance most commonly used in the progression of substance use. Another bad argument.
3. Dagga is much more powerful than it used to me
The only real evidence of this is the possibility that someone smoked some super-powerful Gasper and came up with this lame argument.
First, like alcohol, there is a continuum of potency with Hot Stick. You can drink beer, or you can drink grain alcohol. And the thing is, you usually know what it is you are drinking and modulate your drinking accordingly. People chug a beer. But nobody, after that one time as a freshman in college, chugs grain alcohol. If booze or cripple are too weak, you consume more of them. If they are a bit strong, you consume less. The result is the same.
In fact, the wide range of potency between strains of jolly green is actually an argument FOR legalization since we should want people to know the potency of what they are about to consume. And that knowledge is far more likely to be available on the label from a licensed dispensary, than from your buddy Greenie who sold you a dime bag behind the bowling alley.
4. We don’t need to legalize another intoxicant
Actually, on this one, they’re right. Only a certain number of intoxicants should be legal at a time. And that number is 3. Alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine. Done. Everyone else should go to jail.
5. People in the dinkie-dow industry want to make money
This may win the Oscar for the stupidest argument of them all. It is the main argument of the leading pro-prohibitionist organization known as “Smart Approaches to Marijuana”. Think of SAM as if the movie “Reefer Madness” became a non-profit. This organization exists to keep the pipelines to prison open and free from obstruction.
They argue that “Big Marijuana” is going to come in and open up a bunch of dispensaries for-profit and are going to make filthy lucre off of the sale of Bammy to our poor, unsuspecting kids. Of course, this would make the Giggle Smoke Industry exactly like the alcohol and tobacco industries. Anyone ever heard of Budweiser or Phillip Morris? But beyond that, it would make Jazz Cabbage the same as literally every industry in America. Think of Big Frisbee or Big Itch Cream, or Big Hot Pocket. The desire of entrepreneurs to make money is no reason to make a product illegal and its users are criminals.
The fact that these are the leading arguments against ending prohibition show just how Paltry the case they make is. It’s time to end the 85-year catastrophe and legalize The Devil’s Alfalfa once and for all.
