Confronting the Silent Shame of ADHD Among Female Founders
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A tortorous flywheel
One of the most profound experiences I’ve had as a mental health pro was in grad school at an IOCDF conference. I’ve had a similar feeling, being deeply moved, by a similar situation recently. I’ll explain.
In 2015, my mentor at the time, a global leader in OCD research and treatment, Dr. Monnica Williams, was co-leading a support group for two subtypes of OCD, violent and sexual obsessions.
By definition, OCD is made up of intrusive, unwanted thoughts. They are the flywheel for obsessions and compulsions in all presentations of OCD. People with violent and sexual obsessions are not violent, nor perverse people. In fact, OCD subtypes bear such extreme shame and are still so poorly understood by many psychotherapists that many individuals never receive appropriate, evidence-based treatment.
Violent and sexually-focused OCD sub-types include concerns about: the possibility of being a pedophile, often experienced by parents worrying they could spontaneously, inappropriately touch their own child; self-harm or harming others, sometimes with worries about spontaneously picking up a knife and stabbing a loved one for no reason; the possibility of being queer, in spite of no same-sex attraction or commensurate history of sexual behavior. - OCD Is Not What You Think It Is
The support group was large, consisting of at least 40 individuals. All gender identities and ages were represented, from about age 6 to folx in their 60’s.
This was a room full of people who thought — many for their entire lives — that they were irreparably damaged humans. They thought they were bad people. Because of thoughts that they would do anything to get rid of. That is the compulsions flywheel. Compulsions function as a silencer for obsessions.
“If I do X, it will make Y thoughts go away.”